I like this article because I sense that my baby’s best bet on teenage rebellion is to join the Young Republicans, resplendent in an Alex P. Keaton sweater vest and wingtips.
This really is an incredibly polarizing election. David Sedaris put it the best when he discussed undecided voters:
“I look at these people and can’t quite believe that they exist. Are they professional actors? I wonder. Or are they simply laymen who want a lot of attention? To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. “Can I interest you in the chicken?” she asks. “Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it?” To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked.”
And that’s really the kicker–Sedaris is a bright blue liberal and one can safely assume who is the chicken in his scenario, but the metaphor works in both directions for this election. Fervent McCain supporters and the most rabid of Obama supporters can all agree on one thing: the candidates are so polarizing, so different, that people who haven’t made up their minds are simply baffling.
I also linked to this article because I liked the line about the daughter getting so angry that she just wanted to shake her mother. How we’ve all (except those wacky undecideds) felt that in the last few weeks: the urge to come to near-blows with loved ones and friends over their political beliefs. Because of course, if you’re an Obama supporter, you’re a socialist baby killer who wants his terrorist buddies to teach five year olds about their genitalia. And if you’re a McCain supporter, you’re an anti-choice, anti-change, war-mongering bigot who bathes in Penzoil. Neither of those stereotypes are terribly appealing to the other side. Nor are they all that accurate. Nobody is willing to see the good points on either side anymore, if they ever were; only the (mostly) false stereotypes are left. I’m guilty of generalizing too, and of baiting people that I know will disagree with me; almost everyone I know is guilty of it. Thank God it’s almost over.
As for politics and my parents? I just think back to the day I told my father the news that broke his heart. “Wow…I mean, we just tried so hard to raise you right,” he said as he shook his head sadly. “We tried so hard to raise you a Democrat that we didn’t even THINK about telling you not to be a country music fan!”
Yes, I am one of the rarest of breeds: a bleeding heart one-step-from-socialist liberal who also thoroughly enjoys her Toby Keith. Nobody’s perfect.