How are the so-called “Terrible Twos” going? Normally, I’d say. I actually don’t find them to be bad. As long as you remember that tantrums are the result of limited ability to express frustrations and an equally limited amount of life perspective, you can keep a smile on during the worst of them. However, Two has given us a few gems.
“You broke my squishy [play dough]!! My squishy noooooo!”
“Maggie, can you please bring your chair inside?” “No!” “No?! But you’re my helpful girl!” “…Okay.”
“I want Rusteeze for my bumper.” (Yes, I relied rather heavily on the TV during my first weeks of morning sickness; my penance is her obsession with the horrid Cars.)
[Pouring water on a patio paver stone] “I waterin’ the flowers!”
“Maggie, are you a cutie patootie?” “NO, I DON’T THINK SO.” “I think you’re adorable.” “NO, I DON’T THINK SO.”
[Upon discovering her hiding in her bed's storage drawer instead of napping] “Look! I Maggie in a box!”
And my favorite:
“Deanna, I need my potty!”
I am happy to roll with tantrums caused by the myriad frustrations of the small. But if I’m going to be fetching the receptacle for your waste you had best call me “Mommy.”
ETA: I can’t believe I forgot this one. “Maggie, would you like some more pasta?” “No, she replied.” “Maggie…are you narrating?!” “…WHAT?!” I guess perhaps she wasn’t.