Self Evident

Tim Sandlin writes many funny things in funny books. His latest, Rowdy In Paris, is out on Amazon right now and you should totally pick up a copy. He published the last page on his MySpace blog, a list of the main character’s Self Evident Truths, “statements so pure they cannot be questioned by sane men or women.”

1. The world over, cowboys are the envy of honest men and heart’s desire of adventuresome women.
2. You can’t tell a virgin by her face.
3. Foreplay changes the nature of interesting.
4. You can’t hit every asshole you run into.
5. If you don’t stretch regular, the falls will break you.
6. You can never knock on wood too often in a tunnel.
7. Sleeping-next-to is at least as intimate as banging.
8. The only thing worse than finding out you were wrong when you pre-judged a person’s character is to find out you were right.
9. If you sleep with enough people, sooner or later, you’ll fall for one of them.”
10 You only get a certain number of knockouts in life, before you go away and don’t make it all the way back.
11. Love is more important than saving your culture.
12. Never make assumptions about foreign women.

So, you’ve read it? Go buy it. Really.