First of all, congrats to Tom’s aunt and uncle on their upcoming move to upstate New York to start the next leg of their spiritual journey. We here at Traveling Monkeys are all in favor of uprooting to a new location thousands of miles from home for no other reason except a good time, so we’re doubly excited that they’re going to pursue loftier things.

Second, early pregnancy is like a 24/7 champagne drunk. The buzzy, wobbly head; the bloated and gassy sour stomach and attendant heartburn; the feeling like you’re going to need to puke but you’re just too dizzy to really see the toilet. Since I’ve been pregnant for like, five minutes, I have no reason at all to be showing. And yet, the bloat and the hormone shifts and such have resulted in my inability to suck my not-inconsiderable gut in, so in certain outfits I do look pregnant. I’m not really thrilled about it, but it does allow me a perfectly valid excuse to only wear pants and skirts with stretchy waists. Throw in a lot of Peeps candy and insomnia and you have my sophomore year of college.

That “pregnancy amnesia” business must really be true. Otherwise I can’t explain why there aren’t strictly only children in the world.