Beckham 2.0

Kiddo, we have to talk. You kick a RIDICULOUS amount. Doesn’t hurt, feels sort of neat, but definitely above average if the average is 10 movements a day. No, the problem is with your father. You can’t just decide to withhold kicking because Daddy puts his hand on my lower abdomen. It makes him feel unloved. It is also really uncool to kick up a storm, stop when Daddy puts his hand on my stomach, and start up again immediately when he removes his hand. Daddy is kind of feeling like you’re messing with his head, which is funny for me but then he makes a very sad face. If you could see Daddy’s sad face, you’d stop doing that. Or maybe you wouldn’t. You did have kind of an evil smile in that one ultrasound photo.

Anyway, I think you should cut your father a break. It’s gratifying that you’re saving all the kicking for me, especially given the upchuck factor of the first trimester, but it’s time to play nice. Or else Daddy will pout.

Share the wealth,