Friday, April 10th, 9am.

Kiddo, it’s been fun. I will remember our time together always. But Mommy has been lingering in false and early labor for six weeks, and thus you have until then to get hopping on your own. Then you get served your eviction papers.

I suggest you go quietly. I’ve heard a lot of crap about this pitocin stuff. We’ll do the minimum, but it would really be best for all parties if you decided to go on your own.