Unsolved Mysteries

I don’t know what my neighbor’s deal is here, but it’s fun to speculate. Isn’t it? Or is it more nerve-wracking to imagine what they could possibly be doing with an ironing board made to look like a bed? I do not know, but now you can wonder too.


Question posed to the good people of Costco: if a baby is wearing a onesie containing purple polka dots and overalls with a motorcycle on it, is the baby a) a boy, b) a girl, or c) the square root of purple is 42.


The correct answer is C.

Third mystery: why do babies NEED teeth? Can’t I just fit Maggie with dentures? She’s bleeding, she bites, she is clearly uncomfortable. There’s no reason she needs natural teeth. I would consider it money well spent to just slap some Polydent down on some nice stain-resistant fakes and have done with it. Ow.

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