How I Met The Everywherist

Since I was young, it was my dream to be one of the cool kids. I wasn’t exactly sure how they went about it, being cool; I just knew that it seemed effortless and I was so goddamn awkward that I never quite got there.* Now that I’m older and know better, I know it’s entirely about confidence. Or at least, knowing how to find a common laugh.

Now, Geraldine, on the other hand, actually is one of the cool kids in the travel blog world–her star is on the rise, and deservedly so. I wrote once that she had the sort of travel blog to which I aspire, and it’s true, if only for the posting schedule she maintains and the general level of talented, razor-edge snark masking a fluffball heart. (There. I said it. It’s a thing.)  Imagine how excited I was when we decided to meet while we were in Seattle!  My very own internet celebrity making time to see me and my little family, and she was bringing my baby a present. This, friends, is how a “Squee!” is born.  But then I worried a bit, having never met someone from the internet. Would it be awkward? Would we run through our memories frantically searching for conversational gambits? Worse still, would she be the sort of weirdo who would want to turn my scalp into a throw rug? I mean, the “It’s a famous person, how weird can she really get with publicity to contend with later?” reasoning didn’t exactly work for any of Phil Spector’s girlfriends.

So you can imagine my surprise when we decided to meet at the Pike Place Market in Seattle and I encountered this:


Ah, but I kid, I kid. Her hair was WAY better.


First thing: don’t let all the cake talk fool you. She’s actually pocket sized. In fact, that’s where she is right now, in my shorts pocket, editing my hackneyed prose and taking hits from my hip flask. She is also incredibly stylish and I had to resist every urge I had to grab her by the shoulders and say “Hi, I’m wearing Mom Jeans and New Balances. FIX ME.” I would like her to start with my shoes, since I actually am in the market for new boots once we move off-island.

The mushroom is a darling toy for Maggie, and we have taken to calling it the Overlord. It rules all her other toy veggies with daring, charm, and a full swath of facial hair. (Ed. note: I’ve lost my mind.) And it was a precursor for a fantastic afternoon: Pike Place Market, donuts, fresh fried fish, getting to meet her delightful husband whom my daughter instantly adored (seriously, I apologize in 18 years if she Ninja-Lolitas him away) and a walk in the park.

And we laughed. A lot.

While I would love to break into the travel blogging world (and I do need to work quite a bit harder at disciplining myself) I don’t consider this meeting a networking event. Rather, it was a fantastic meetup (even though I did not have a magical horse) with someone whom I never would have had the confidence to meet even five or six years ago. It was a hell of a good time, and a really cool chance to bring one of my favorite internet people up to the status of real-life friend.

Just don’t get her around any lawn chairs.

*ETA: I actually think I am ridiculously awesome. Don’t believe the hype. But I really can’t dress myself.


4 thoughts on “How I Met The Everywherist

  1. Deanna I love your prose! And you probably should keep Geraldine away from your hip flask, or they’ll be none left for you. 😦

    Glad to know your confidence is on the rise – remember, high school is well behind you now, so all you need to be one of the cool kids is to SAY that you’re one of them. You’re a Travel Blogger, dammit! With a NINJA baby! It really doesn’t get any cooler than that.

  2. First off, stop with the self-deprecation, you awesome sexy thang.
    Secondly, SQUEEEEEEEEE right back atcha.
    Third, really? Fashion tips from me? You realize that EVERYTHING I WAS WEARING was from the thrift store, and smelled like cheese, right? EVERYTHING.
    Fourth (or is it forth? Whatever). 4th, Rand and I always say that weird people on the internet are going to make clothes from our skin. Then they’d sit on your scalp throw-rug.
    Fifth. Everyone who was popular in high school is now lame. Remember that.
    Sixth. You are tre awesome. We will start a mutual admiration society. Trisha, of course, is invited.
    Seventh. I ❤ Ninja Family. Thank you for a lovely afternoon.

    That is all.

    • Oh, you darling hip-pocket leprechaun, you. And I DO want you to dress me, since while you may smell like cheese I am fairly certain you are not stained with milk, human or bovine. And third, I’m up for the mutual admiration society. I’m envisioning some sort of ridiculous meetup where we shanghai Candice from Candice Does The World into a drinking contest.

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