Drawing a blank

Do you know how many times I’ve started and re-started this post trying to think of something to say? I have all these emotions and feelings that I can’t articulate. It’s like going through puberty without the pimples or lack of a driver’s license but with the addition of a rampaging toddler who knows that “Something is up, damn you tall people, and I don’t know what it is but I DON’T LIKE IT.”

It’s no fun for you if I just write about my emotions. It’s like those insufferable people who blog their dreams; nobody wants to see my subconscious put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) in order to facilitate an emotional dump. I’d rather change a diaper.

So we’ve begun our last two weeks in Hawaii, which I have not even come close to internalizing. It’s nonsense. The numbers don’t compute for me. Who just packs up and moves thousands upon thousands of miles for no good reason other than to see what’s there? A lot of people, I guess; I follow a ton of perma-travelers on Twitter and they all seem happy, if often drunk and encrusted with layers of southeast Asian dust. (The dust there is loads cheaper than European dust, you see.) Our dust will be of the British farmland variety, but still foreign.

Since we’ll be in a community of American and British military members, I mentioned to Tom my suspicion about Maggie’s future: we may be grooming her to be a part of the life. I have serious doubts a child of mine would find the motivation to actually enlist herself, but it’s possible. Equally possible is that she marries into the military. It’s our first move with a child and I’ve already started to wonder how it will shape her relationships in the future.

I…guess we’re talking about my emotions after all. Look, my mousy nemesis has long since shuffled off the mortal coil, okay? I’m feeling a little desperate for inspiration.

Ooooh, here’s another topic for your consideration when you submit those Mother Of The Year ballots: as a devout fan, I got the new Lady Gaga single “Born This Way” on Friday (you know, the almost total ripoff of “Express Yourself” with a refrain that goes “Don’t be a drag, just be a queen”) and Maggie LOVES it. Can’t get enough! Can baby’s first Pride be far behind??

Tom just found a flight from Leeds to Pisa for ninety pounds, COMBINED. Be still my heart. Has he read any of those homeschooling websites or articles I’ve sent? Doubtful, but his enthusiasm for planning and executing world travel is, I suspect, vastly more educational than sitting down at home with a textbook. Also, Italian food. Mmmm…

I’m all over the place tonight. I never thought I’d say this, but that mouse was a good muse.

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One thought on “Drawing a blank

  1. Call me biased but if it comes down to it, I’d encourage Maggie to join the military herself rather than marry into it. It’s a tough life for both parties, but at least the active duty member gets to experience some modicum of control. The rest of us are just along for the occasionaly fabulous/occasionally hellish ride.

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