Metabolism on Ice

Things Occupying My Mind As I Blow Past the Midway Point of Pregnancy:

1. I can’t believe I’m going to complain about this…but here I go. I can’t seem to gain any weight. Thanks to the Exorcist-level morning sickness I experienced this time around (which has not totally abated), I estimate that I dropped about ten pounds in my first trimester. None of my maternity pants fit; a pair I purchased in a size lower than what I usually wear hangs off me like parachute pants. Since I don’t know the words OR the dance to “Too Legit” I suspect that’s a problem. As 2.0 fattens up and grows on schedule (more on that in a second) I am dropping weight from my arms, thighs, and abdomen. My rings are so loose that I have to be careful to keep track of them; my watch keeps swinging around to face down. I’m wolfing Ben & Jerry’s down by the pint, eating three solid meals and at least two big snacks during the day, dispatching Tom to make cookies, and still the only pairs of pants that fit me are a pair of Levi’s ultra-low ultra-skinny jeans and a pair I hung onto, for reasons passing understanding, from high school.

2. Despite it sucking every bit of caloric storage from my flesh, the little fetus is growing right on schedule and my ultrasound revealed a happy, growing little baby we’ve temporarily christened “Thumpy”. Sadly my cool due date was lost–it moved three days from 11-11-11 to 11-14-11. This actually doesn’t make a bit of difference to me; I went so overdue with Maggie that my hope is to not be pregnant on my birthday (November 28). The baby is also starting to assert itself. Maggie was scrambling around on my lap looking for a comfortable spot when I felt a hit under my ribs so hard that I yelped in pain. I chastised Maggie for not being careful and she looked at me like I was a moron (a look she has perfected). I realized then that the hit was coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE as if to say “Woman, get that toddler under control or I will John Hurt you.”

So there’s that. Assertive, healthy, and fattening up right on schedule whilst stealing all my nutrients. At least my hair is looking full and fluffy.

3. I’ve been classified as very low risk and a good candidate by the midwives and the local clinic, so assuming the baby is in the proper position when the time comes we’re officially starting to look at things we need for the homebirth. It’s hard looking at those kits without remembering those first days after Maggie’s birth. Ohhh, the ice packs. Lots of ice packs. Oddly enough, pricing out disposable underwear didn’t really drive home the reality of the impending little person; pulling the trigger on buying the baby’s car seat did. We needed to buy it a little early since we’re ordering an American model through Amazon (a Britax B-Safe) and couldn’t try it in the car first–we have to have time to return it in case it doesn’t work out. The seat and two new diaper covers are the first things we’ve purchased for this baby. Imagining that tiny little diaper sitting in that car seat is making me verklempt…as is the thought of those ice packs. Ye gods.

It’s all getting real: there’s going to be a new little person here in a few short months. A little person who will poo and scream and need to be fed every two hours…and who will snuggle and make grunty noises in its sleep and eventually get big enough to wrap its arms around me and say, as its big sister did today: “Oh, I just love you so much.”

That’s worth all the ice packs. Trust me.


2 thoughts on “Metabolism on Ice

  1. “I realized then that the hit was coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE as if to say “Woman, get that toddler under control or I will John Hurt you.””

    this made me lol for about 60 seconds. :D:D:D

  2. Home birth was awesome with our midwives. They swooped right in, took control, sent me away to nap while they took care of business, and just generally did good. And L thought they did alright too, and I guess that’s important. Nothing cooler than having A go to sleep one night, wake up the next morning, crawl out of his little bed, and find a new baby sister waiting for him.

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