Today’s dispatch comes to you from my couch after a long day at the ER with Maggie. I’ll ruin the suspense and tell you up front that the three of us (me, Maggie, and 2.0) are okay but in varying degrees of discomfort. Baby 2 fared best with absolutely no discernible injury and has been merrily thocking me in the ribs all day long. So here’s what happened and here’s why you should never show motivation, EVER.

In the spirit of preparedness, Maggie and I have been “playing school” for the last few weeks. This is an attempt to work in educational activities so when we start using formal homeschooling curricula when Maggie is older, we already have an established rhythm to our day that allows me to slip it in without her noticing. As far as she’s concerned, it’s ALL fun and fingerpaints and playing with special blocks and puzzles. It’s a good time and we both enjoy it quite a bit. And in establishing this rhythm for our days, I’ve been working on our weekly rhythms which include Field Trip Wednesdays.

This is all by way of telling you why I was wearing socks.

I hate socks. Hate shoes. But you need both for scrambling over boulders at Brimham Rocks and so was I thus clad in nice thick hiking socks for our outing today. And while carrying Maggie down our hall stairs, because sometimes it is just easier to pick up a toddler and move them to where you want them to be, those thick hiking socks met the slippery fibers of our high-traffic-area semi-industrial carpeting and whoosh! Out from under me came my feet.

It’s terrifying when you slip holding your child. Terrifying. Doubly so when you are on an incline like stairs. Add in pregnancy on top of all that? Most agonizing few seconds of your entire life. I fell backwards and Maggie fell forwards with her head ending up by my knees and I LANDED on her left leg and against the stairs. Then we slid as I tried desperately to get her out from under me and into my lap. If I broke an ankle or whatever at the bottom of the stairs, so be it, but the only two thoughts in my head were “Get Maggie UP” and “Oh God. The baby. The baby.”

And we kept sliding.

Fortunately a preliminary check showed that Maggie seemed unbroken–no swelling, no bruising–and as we fell I got ahold of her arms which kept her upper body, head and neck from crashing against the stairs. I brought her into the living room to comfort her and then I realized–she couldn’t stand up. Couldn’t bear any weight on her left leg at all. Shit. So off to the ER we went.

Now, here’s some highlights from bringing a child with extreme stranger phobia and control issues to the emergency room:

  1. Doctors kicked in the face: 1
  2. Nurses informed “Do not come back in the room”: 1
  3. Sets of X-rays required because of baby-panic: 2
  4. Number of technicians required to restrain child for X-rays: 3
  5. Number of mothers who, due to pregnancy, had to hide in the lead-paneled X-ray control room and couldn’t help: 1
  6. Number of scratch marks left on technician’s face: 2

Number of mothers who were mortified because really, the kid is not THAT HURT if she’s just chilling on the gurney playing with Duplos and perusing Thomas the Tank Engine in between examinations: 1. Unless you saw her try to stand up you’d never know she was hurt.

I did discover something interesting about Maggie: she might be on the table being examined for fractures and other injuries to her leg, but if her personal safety feels threatened she will kick you with that self-same leg and the pain it may cause her be damned. Anyway, she’s not fractured in any way but she did twist up her ankle, knee, and hip–they seem to be equally affected–and she’s going to have to stay off it for a few days with a re-exam on Friday. My back is a sheet of fire but 2.0 is thumping away with no bleeding, spotting, or suspicious amniotic leaks to report so overall? We were LUCKY. SO LUCKY.

But I still have to figure out how to keep a toddler immobilized for the next 48 hours without trying to walk on her bad leg. After a few hours of that this afternoon Maggie decided not walking was bullshit and got really, really frustrated. I feel terrible for her because she’s two! Of COURSE she wants to get up and move. She doesn’t want me to deliver puzzles and books to her comfy chair; she wants to Do It Herself. It’s a trait I totally admire but in this specific instance I wish she was slightly more co-dependent and lazy so we can get through the next 48 hours.

Wish us luck while Maggie heals up. It’s going to be a long few days of trying to entertain her unless she figures out how to use a Tiny Tim crutch.

And let this be a lesson to you: slow down. Don’t overstuff your day. And don’t wear socks.


10 thoughts on “Wipeout

  1. Whoa- this definitely hit a cord (having a toddler myself) – my girl was in a jumpy castle not long ago and got her knee squished by a 6yr old. She limped afterwards and the GUILT… Geeze- a whole other story… anyhow, we got xrays and my mellow little girl who is agreeable to most things wasn’t having ANYTHING to do with that machine & technician! So it doesn’t surprise me that your wee one freaked. Also, in order to keep her off her sprained knee (no breaks luckily) I let her watch TV or my iPad & iPhone for a few days straight. Not ideal, but that and her favorite treats (popcorn & pirate bootie) kept her pretty still. After all that she wanted the TV for a few days then forgot about it… Hope your baby girl, you & 2.0 all get some rest and recuperation…

  2. is it wrong that i’m a little proud of how badass you both are? maggie kicking with her bad leg is, well, bad, but she’s a fighter and that’ll serve her well once she’s figured out how to recognize actual danger. and you are seriously ripley level awesome. RIPLEY.

    glad you’re all okay. *hug*

  3. Also, I think its important to clarify exactly WHO told the nurse not to come back.

    Plus, kicking with the injured leg? Typical ninja behavior.

  4. I hate to dwell on “what could have happened”, but just think of that now and then and it will get you through the next day or so. So glad you are all ok!

    • OMG – you have just described one of my very worst fears when the kids were little! So glad you’re all going to be okay! I was absolutely, positively SURE that one day I was going to do a header down the stairs carrying one child and probably tripping over the other (they’re only 20 mos. apart). The rise on our townhouse stairs was very low and strange to traverse, and there was no banister, and it also was covered in el-cheapo beat-down carpeting, so this was a real concern. Never happened, thank God, but I used to think about it darn near every day! 😦

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