“And therefore as a stranger give it welcome.
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.” – Hamlet
I’ve spent some time in the archives looking at what I’ve written about Maggie and I’ve come to a conclusion: it’s time for me to apologize.
The fear that I’ve experienced is based in stereotypes. It’s the fear of the “other,” the same fear that I’ve claimed was my greatest: that the world treats people badly when they perceive that person as “other.” And I worried about functioning in the world–passing– and getting her to talk to me like “any other child” would do, and the “plan” and the diagnosis and all of that, because those were the things that would make her less “other.”
Shame on me.
Maggie’s three years old, and she is not scary. What she can do is yet to be written; what she is capable of is unbound by my neurotypical experience. The last thing we want her to do is to conform to what the world wants her to be at the expense of her own unique, important voice. So I’ve spent this weekend learning about ableism and about self-advocacy: “Nothing about us without us.” Such important, important topics.
We are evolving and learning; those past posts are staying up to reflect how far we’ve come. We are clumsy and we stumble, but we are getting there as a family. And I am sorry for ever, even unwittingly or without realizing I was doing so, disparaging the person my daughter will be with my own fear.
And you know what? I don’t think I’ll write any more serious posts until after January 1. Time to take requests. It has to be a funny topic, dammit, like the mouse from two years ago. I need uppers to get through my own blog these days. What do you want to hear about?