Statistical analysis shows that many women of my age, education, and income bracket (almost 30, BA degree, able to impulse-buy Diet Cokes even in pounds sterling) are not married, only just married, and generally not yet parents or are just considering pregnancy/newly pregnant.
I’ve just made some of the wider gross generalizations I’ve ever made, none of which are backed by citations, and I’m not even sorry because it’s been suggested that I “started young” on parenting so many times that I’m starting to think that becoming a mother at 25 is in some circles the equivalent of a late-teen post-high school pregnancy: not the same as getting pregnant at 14, but still widely considered a not-awesome idea.
I will apologize for that last run-on sentence.
Anyway, I’m a mother of two in social groups that have one child, if any, or are just pregnant with/trying for their first. As the self-assigned Ranking Toddler Mom I get asked occasionally for product advice (most may also call this “pushing my opinion when it hasn’t been requested”). I even sent a product list to a pregnant friend who enjoys travel, so proud I was of our streamlined minimalist style.
And then I realized something: we have purchased SIX CAR SEATS.
We have two children and one five-seater car. So–language warning–that really begets the question:
How the fuck does that even happen?!
Individually, all the purchases made sense. There was Maggie’s infant carrier, which we hated with a fiery passion and sold as soon as she could hold her head steady. There was the convertible seat that replaced that infant carrier. Moira came along, had her own infant carrier seat because we sold the last one because sucky, and was a giantess baby. Giant baby needed the convertible, so we gave her that one and got Maggie her current command-center-style seat/throne. It’s a heavy sumbitch and Maggie is very tall and mature for her age, so we got her an inflatable backless booster for travel. And Moira is neither mature nor old enough for such a seat, and we plan to rent a few cars in Europe over the next few years as well as ride in coach buses, so we needed an EU-spec travel seat with a harness for Moira.
That all makes sense. It’s rational, reasonable. The travel seats are VERY budget-friendly; their permanent seats are sturdy, solid investments and top-ranked in their class. But SIX. SIX SEATS FOR TWO EXTRA-TINY BOTTOMS. If we only had the 8-passenger SUV to go with it, we would be a perfect test case for American excess.
And lo, I shant brag about our minimal ways ever again. I’ll just blame the excess on my maternal youth.